


Never Bring A Coconut To A Party

by Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw



Series: February Ficlet Challenge 2018 [17]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Candles, Erotic Electrostimulation, F/F, Kink Negotiation, Knifeplay, Rope Bondage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 12:41:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13717902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw/pseuds/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw
Summary: In which Clara and Ashildr plan out a scene only to catch a crucial detail at the last minute.Pairing: Clara Oswald/AshildrPrompt: Narrowly avoided disaster





	Never Bring A Coconut To A Party

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by imaginary_golux

“I suppose I have your escapades with _him_ to thank for the fact that you have a hard time getting off unless you’re in danger or tied up.” Ashildr’s voice drips into her ears like sweetest poison.

“Preferably both,” Clara volunteers. “I probably don’t want to know what sort of life choices you’ve made that have left you so able to get off on putting me in danger and tying me up.”

“Just as well, given that I can’t remember.” If once there was regret, Clara doesn’t hear it in Ashildr’s voice anymore. “Shall we run through it again?”

“Please.” Clara’s reply comes just a bit too quickly for her liking. Steady on, Oswald, she tells herself. Let the anticipation build.

“First, I plug you up, fore and aft, with these.” Ashildr brandishes a pair of vibrators. Clara sucks in air at the sight. Relax, you’ve taken bigger, she reminds herself. “Then the rope.” Clara’s pupils dilate, just a little. Time to see if the hours they’d spent comparing thickness, material, and texture had paid off. 

“Then the hood,” Clara hears herself speak. Ashildr just grins demonically. Clara loves the hood. It would be a problem if she needed to breathe, but in her current condition, it was almost invasively restricting and nothing more.

“Then the candle wax,” the former Viking continues. Thank god she could still feel heat. It would be a shame for those lessons from Jackson Pollack to go to waste. 

“Then the switchblade.” She could still be cut, but her body simply reverted back to the way it had been every heartbeat, which, given how fast her heart had been pounding at the moment of her death, was the length of a second ripped in two. Clara suspects Ashildr enjoys the license to be just a little careless as she plays the knife’s tip over her body and prises away the cooling wax.

“By this point, you should be about ready to blow,” Ashildr remarks, almost clinically. “Which means it’s time for me to fetch the electro-shock.” Clara shudders, remembering the damaged power station she’d helped the Doctor stabilize: the occasion she’d discovered that particular kink. “Luckily, we don’t have to worry about stopping your heart.”

“That covers it,” Clara replies a moment later, having ticked off the last box on her mental checklist.

“Jolly good.” Ashildr opens a fresh jar of lubricant.

Clara’s nose wrinkles. Not in a cute way. “Is that coconut?”

“Pina colada. We haven’t been to the tropics in a while.”

“You know I’m allergic, right?”

“Oh dear…” Ashildr doesn’t bother stifling her laughter. 

“Not funny.” Clara swats at her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Have we still got any of that lavender-scented stuff?” 

Ashildr only grins in reply.

**Author's Note:**

> Look, if you're going to live forever, then sooner or later, you probably get up to some strange stuff.


End file.
